Hi again! New Year's Goals 2016

So it's been a while...I was actually thinking of deleting this entire blog last night, but I was re-reading it and I realized that I am kind of a good writer (and apparently sort of vain) so I decided to keep it.  Additionally, I realized that my favorite posts have been about food.  I still cook, maybe without so much gusto, but I am hoping this blog will inspire me once again!  Which was the whole point in the beginning, but I got a little side tracked by the whole kid thing.  But it's okay! He is worth it.

Anyway, I digress. Since it is the start of a new year, I am determined to do some blogging once again.  I wouldn't say it is a new year's resolution, but more of a goal.  I totally just plagiarized that last sentence from Emilie.  Sorry Emilie, but it was so good!  It's been a long time since I wrote anything for myself or did anything tremendously creative and I need that outlet.  Okay that is not totally true, I have taken up knitting, but that's really not all that exciting to blog about.  Maybe I will do a knitting post now that I think about it.

The point is I want to write something creative.  I am six months and 20 class meetings (not that I am counting...) away from having a Master's degree.  I will be a Master of Public Administration.  What will I do with that you ask?  I am not entirely sure, but it has been one hell of a ride to get here and I will probably cry of relief when I graduate.  I hope to find my way back to college advising, as I tend to give unsolicited advise to anyone who mentions an interest in college.  I have given my massage therapist tons of advice for his teenage son and he commented to me just last week that I really should do this for a living.  Additionally my husband bought a car this summer from some kid on craigslist, and I spend a good half hour lecturing, writing notes, and pointing him to helpful websites after he made the mistake of mentioning to me that he wanted to go to a community college.  So that is the long term goal.  I think.

As for this blog, I would like to get back into writing about food, and me, but mostly about food.
On a personal level I've made some goals for myself in the new year.

So my goals (not resolutions) are:

Have faith things will work out

Stay as healthy as possible

Be present 

Worry less 

Pray 

Read 

Cook 

Bake

Decorate cakes

Sleep

Blog 

Graduate

Are these too ambitious?  Can I accomplish them?  Only time will tell, but I am feeling fairly optimistic.

Also, in the last few years (and because pictures make everything more interesting) I've started decorating cakes again.

For my kid's second birthday

For my dad's retirement

Keep Tasting,

Tania

A little poem

I dropped him.

My legs gave out, and he fell.

I’m his mom,

The very definition of protector

And I dropped him. 

Legs that boldly held me as I ran.

And I love to run.

I am/was good at it

Smugly passing other runners.

Until my body betrayed me.

The metallic taste lodges itself in my throat. 

My years of denial begin to crumble as I watch the IV drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

I’m Scared.

I’m Sad.

I’m Angry.

I didn’t want the Steroids.

I hate the pounding heart,

The aching bones,

Being a bitch.

But I dropped him.

I’m his mom.

The narrow tube awaits,

Magnetic waves flow.

I already know.

I already know.

My secrets will be revealed.

How many new lesions?

Where are they placed?

The look of pity on their faces.

My body betrayed me.

The needle beckons.

Doctors telling me this will help.

Only a few side effects,

Searing injection pain,

Flu-like symptoms.

Every.

Single.

Day.

I’d prefer the flu. 

But I can’t drop him again.

I’m his mom.  

We were all such good parents before we became parents. Reflections as my baby turns 1.

A year ago tomorrow I became a mom for the first time. I feel like the time flew by and now my little boy is a toddler.  He is walking around!  He is so happy and such a joy that I cannot even imagine what my life was like without him.  He laughs, babbles, walks, plays, and now we are even taking swimming lessons.  I also have a new respect for my mom.  The level of sacrifice, worry, and joy of parenthood is something that I don't think you can truly comprehend until you hold that little bundle in your arms.  So thanks mom and sorry for all those times I made you worry.  

Being a mom is so wonderful, beautiful, incredible.........and extremely difficult.  I haven't slept in a year.  It was probably more than a year because I know I wasn't sleeping the last month or so of my pregnancy. While I complain about the lack of sleep, I actually have no concrete memory of being well-rested so I'm really not all that upset about it.  I secretly enjoy some of those middle of the night feedings where my baby snuggles up next to me and nurses before drifting back into his baby dreams.  Those crazy love hormones override any other emotion or selfish thought I might have and I just know I would do anything for him.  Which apparently includes getting up every 3-5 hours for the past year. 

So what have I learned since becoming a mother?  That as my parenting class teacher says, "We were all such good parents before we became parents."  And by that I mean it is so easy to judge parents and plan what kind of parent you will be when you don't actually have any kids.  You see the screaming child in the grocery store, the breastfeeding mom, the bottle feeding mom, the mom who doesn't let their kid eat sugar, the one who lets them eat anything, the mom who lets their kids watch TV, the mom who goes to work, and the mom who stays home.  The list could go on and on.  I personally had several preconceived (and ridiculous) notions of how I was going to be as a mom.  Pretty much everything I thought I would and wouldn't do is different.  Here is a small snippet of things I have come to realize.

1.  Feeding (breast, bottle, and regular food):  I am still breastfeeding!  I am shocked, but it is easy now and my little guy is attached so I think I will probably stick with it for the time being.  I never ever thought I would breastfeed this long and I always sort of thought that women who did it past 6 months were a little insane.  In terms of real food he eats pretty much everything, but I admit that I have given him food that I never thought I would or should.  I do try to get him to eat healthy, organic veggies, fruits, yogurt, etc.  But some days all he wants to eat for breakfast is animal crackers with peanut butter or nutella.  And the kid loves hot dogs and boxed macaroni and cheese.  I cringe when I think of how I used to judge moms who gave their kids processed food to stop the whining.

2.  TV/Screen time: I was convinced that we would never let our kid see a TV screen until the age of two.   Do you know how hard it is to not have a TV on during football season?  I mean let's be reasonable people!  I try my best not to have the TV on most of the time he is awake, but it is really more difficult than one would think.  We don't plop him down to watch cartoons, but most days he gets just a little big screen.  And I am okay with that.  Really, I am.  Okay I still have issues with this one, but I am trying not to be too hard on myself.

3.  Working:  I am now a stay at home mom.  I never, ever, in my wildest dreams ever thought I would stay home.  I just had no idea how much I would want to be there for every moment.  I went back to work when he was three months old and I quit when he was seven months old.  And thankfully it worked out for us financially (thus far) so I have been able to be home with my little guy.  It has been a little weird emotionally for me because I always assumed I would be a working mom.  Those stay at home moms always struck me as a little odd.  And now here I am planning my days around story times and naps.  Sometimes I worry about my place in the economy because I am taking a little break, but I have to have faith that it will all work out.  I am thinking of going back to graduate school so that when he is a little older I can go to work and he can go to preschool. 

And sleep...I have no idea about sleep so I will refrain from even commenting on that.  I just know that I will never look at a mom funny when she says she hasn't slept in months, let's her kid cry it out, or that she co-sleeps.  You gotta do what you gotta do.

So on the eve of my baby's birthday I would like to apologize to all those moms and dads whose parenting decisions I questioned or criticized.  I also feel the need to laugh at myself for all the notions that I had about how I was going to raise my little monkey.  I thought I was a good parent before I became a parent, but now I just try to go with the flow.

 It's a good day when there is no poop on the floor.

Are mommy groups the new mean girls?

I left a mommy group on Saturday afternoon in tears.  I managed to make it to the car before I started crying, but the tears started flowing fast and furious as I buckled my 6 month old son into his car seat.  I have never felt so bad about myself and my identity as a mother.  I pride myself on being a good mother.  And yet within an hour this mommy group managed to destroy my self-esteem and image of a good mother.  And the worst part?  It was over my child's nap schedule.  NAP SCHEDULE. Or, to be more accurate, my lack of a nap schedule.  These women have set schedules and routines for their children.  Everyday.  Every single day.  That means on the weekend an activity, such as lunch, visiting a friend, going on a run, going to grandmas, etc. falls during a nap time they just don't go.  They prioritize nap time over every other aspect of their lives.  Does it make me selfish that I don't/won't do that?  I know he needs to nap, but half the time at home he will only get a few 30 minute cat naps a day even if we aren't doing anything.  I just feel like life is too short to run back home for his afternoon nap.  I try to get him to sleep, but I am not going to cancel things on the 50/50 chance he might sleep.  Besides, he sleeps in the car about 70 percent of time anyway.  I want to see the world.  And trust me, my son does to.  My child does not nap very well.  He never has.  He came out of the womb wide-eyed and ready to take on the world.  In all his newborn pictures his big eyes are staring at the camera.  He was never destined to be napper.  Apparently I never napped as a child.  Legend has it my husband never napped as baby either.  Have I made my point?  My baby doesn't nap well.

So the trouble all started on Saturday when my child got a little fussy after being on the baby swing (and I am sure I got some sideways glances for swinging my child higher than the other moms were swing their kids.)  I knew my baby was tired because he only slept for about 45 minutes earlier in the day.  We went to my birthday lunch and he slept in the car afterwards and then it was time for the mommy play group.  I made the mistake of telling these women that my child only slept for 45 minutes that day.  A few of these ladies were aghast.  They weren't all overtly aghast, but the judgement was clearly on a few of their faces.  One lady in particular launched into a monologue about the importance of sleep for their happiness and growing brains.  Strongly implying (at least this is how I interpreted it) that my baby was going to be miserable and stupid because I haven't submitted to a master nap schedule.  Of course this triggered a flood of emotions in me.  Am I a horrible mom?  Is my child going to hate me because he didn't get at least three hours of napping a day?  Is my child going to be stupid?  Is he going to have a developmental delay because of me?  Am I a bad mom for wanting to go to my birthday lunch?  Should I cancel my scheduled run with a friend on the weekends?  At this point I could feel the tears forming so I got up politely, said my goodbyes, and fled to my car.

Now in full disclosure I haven't had a full nights sleep in 6 months so I am a little bit emotional.  But so far my experience of mom groups has been a little unnerving.  I don't even think these ladies meant to bring me to tears.  Individually they all seem like very nice women.  One I have known since we were in high school and I don't think she has a mean bone in her body.  And really it was only the one mom who seemed to be on a parenting rampage against me.  But I still felt a little like that girl in high school being picked on by the mean girls.  I think the problem is that mommy groups are supposed to be a time to meet up, let babies interact, support one another.  But the issue is that most moms are constantly judging each other.  I don't even think that we realize it most of the time.  At another mommy group last week someone started talking about labor, and it instantly became an unsaid competition.  Whose labors was longest, who didn't get an epidural, etc.  I fully admit that I joined in on the competition and proudly toted my all natural birth.  It's the same thing with parenting styles.  All of sudden these groups that are supposed to be fun turn into a little bit of competition for these women.  Seemingly well-intended parenting advice feels like a personal attack.  Because parenting is personal.  This is your child they are talking about.  Your mommy skills.  Criticism feels like you have been branded with a Scarlett, "Bad Mom" across your chest.

I joined a facebook baby group for local moms and I asked a question about how to end co-sleeping.  I feel like my husband and I just don't sleep that well with a baby in the middle of the bed so I want to get my son to sleep in his crib all night.  Oh yeah, we've ended up as a family that co-sleeps about half the time.  Some nights he stays in his crib, some nights he ends up in the middle of our bed.  So depending on what type of mom you are on this issue I am either going to roll over on my kid in my sleep, or somehow injure him, or I am a bad mom for even suggesting that I kick him out of our bed.  This online mommy group has over 15 responses to my question.  But they aren't really helpful responses, a few told me it was too early to kick him out of our bed, a few told me to consider the idea of swaddling him, (as though they had invented the concept of swaddling) and more than one told me to be thankful that I was getting more than 45 minutes of sleep in a row.  Even my question became a competition among the moms, whose baby sleeps through the night because of swaddling and routine and on the other end of the spectrum whose baby could keep the parents up all night.  In other words, we were all playing "Are you mom enough?" as the recent cover of Time magazine illustrated.  Although Time Magazine was talking about breastfeeding, I think these mommy groups find any aspect of parenting to be competitive about.  Let's not even talk about breastfeeding.  I am still doing it and it has gotten easier and more enjoyable, but I still maintain it is one of the hardest things about being a new mom and I am in no place to judge anyone about their feeding choices.

I joined all of these mommy groups because most of my friends don't have babies yet, or the ones that do are very busy or live too far away for play dates.  I want to socialize my baby and meet other women going through the same thing as me.  But I don't want the competition.  I have no idea how to stop the competition, how to not take the advice so personally, or even how to not join in on the competition.  I try really hard not to give parenting advice, the only time I say something is when I see people looking at breast pumps at the store.  I always feel the need to tell them they can rent a better one from the hospital.  I learned this the hard way after buying a piece of crap pump for 150 dollars.  But other than that I try really hard not to give advice.  And now that I think about it, that advice might be kind of annoying to a new mom as well.  I might just be bitter, but I know that all babies are different.  What worked for your baby might not work for mine.  Yes, I know I should probably do better with a baby sleep routine.  I know nursing him to sleep isn't ideal and I know we should put him down when he falls asleep in our arms.  But sometimes we just want to stare at that cute little face so peacefully sleeping in our arms.  One day far too soon he will probably be over 6 feet tall staring down at me.  I want to cherish these moments when he is so little.  I know these moms think that they are just trying to be kind when they start offering up tips and telling me which parenting books I should read.  (Where they find the time to read all these books is beyond me.  Writing this blog post will probably take me at least a few days or it will be completed in the wee hours of the morning when my child is sleeping).

If I could have an honest conversation with these women I would like to say that I would love to hear stories about the funny things your child does.  How your baby reacts to shots, new faces, glasses and beards.  I want to be friends with you.  I want to discuss how tired we all are.  I want to discuss what a trip parenting is.   I would love, love, love to share a glass of wine with you and laugh about poop stories.  But please don't judge what I am doing with my kid.  If I am not beating him, he is clothed, and happy, then let it go.  It's not like I am poking my kid at night to keep him awake.  Most of the time I am not sure what I am doing with my son.  I just do what seems to work for us.  So far he seems to be happy and he is in the 90th percentile across the board.  So I feel like I am doing something right.  But I am not all that organized and thus routines have never been a strong point for me.

So now I am at a loss.  I will probably have to bow out of the online facebook group because every time a new post pops up in my newsfeed I am literally filled with anxiety.  I am not sure what to do about mommy groups.  I think I might need to toughen up my skin.  A lot.  Take their advice with a grain of salt and know that my baby loves me and he is happy and that is all that matters in the end.  I am not quite ready to give up on these mom groups yet, I think my son needs to be exposed to other babies.  Maybe I should start my own mommy meet up.  An appropriate title might be, "My baby doesn't sleep, sometimes I give him formula, he eats jarred baby food and we don't really have a routine.  Come join me with a glass of wine and we can laugh about it." 

Green Beans, Parsley and Walnut Potato Salad

So after getting a hard time from my co-worker I decided it was time to post again.  Thanks for the nudge Emilie!  I thought I would tackle Potato Salad since it is summer.  I hate traditional potato salad.  All that mayo just grosses me out.  And if you are at a picnic and it is sitting in the sun, I don't even want to think about what could
happen to me.  I am all for getting sick from eating something good like raw meat, sushi or fresh cheese, but a mayo potato salad is not worth it.   But I do love potatoes so this summer I took an old walnut oil salad dressing recipe and created this summer potato salad.  No mayo needed.  I got this idea after visiting my favorite Uncle in Idaho and at the end of our visit he gave me a big bag of Yukon potatoes.  (Cliche, I know, but Idaho does have great potatoes).  On the six hour journey home I thought about creative ways to cook these tasty little spuds and upon arriving home my husband noticed that our parsley plant had doubled in size.  And that sealed the deal.  This recipe feeds two, but it could easily be doubled to accommodate more people. 

Parsley from our garden

Green Beans, Parsley, and Walnut Potato Salad
 2 to 4 Yukon gold or red potatoes
1 handful fresh green beans
3 tablespoons fresh parsley
3 to 5 pieces of bacon
1 small Roma tomato
1/4 red onion
1/4 cup cheddar cheese
1/4 cup walnuts
2 tablespoons walnut oil
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
Salt
Pepper

Get those potatoes boiling because this is a chilled salad and they need time to cool down.  I cut the potatoes in half, leave the skin on, and boil.  It is important not to over cook the spuds, so check them frequently and when you can stick a knife into these with just a little resistance they are done.  Depending upon the size of the potatoes, it takes around 10-15 minutes for them to cook.  When the potatoes are almost done chop off the ends of the green beans and dunk them into the boiling water for about a minute. To stop the cooking process for the green bean and the potatoes, drain the pot, fill the pot with ice water.  After the potatoes and the green beans have cooled down slightly, cut them into 1 inch chunks, place in a bowl and stick it in the refridgerator (and sometimes, if I am hungry, I put them in the freezer.)  While the potatoes are cooling fry bacon until crispy.  This usually take about 10 minutes, depending on how crispy you like your bacon.  While the bacon is frying, finely dice the tomato, red onion, cheddar cheese, and chop the parsley and walnuts.  In a small bowl whisk the walnut oil, red wine vinegar, mustard and salt and pepper together to make a dressing.  Take your chilled spuds and green beans out and add all the chopped veggies, cheese, and walnuts in the the potatoes.  Chop the bacon up finely and add that to the salad.  Add the walnut oil salad dressing to the mixture and toss.  Eat immediately while all the ingredients are crisp.  I like to eat mine with salmon or steak.


Enjoy and I promise you it will be better than a mayo potato salad. 

Happy July 4th, let's celebrate with Tortas!

Yesterday was July 4th and we had delicious burgers to celebrate.  And they were fatty and yummy.  But today I felt like cooking a festive meal because, why not?  And I had the day off so I had time to plan.   What is a Torta you ask?  It's a Mexican sandwich.  I decided to make Tortas because I am a Mexican-American!  (And it just sounded good.) Just like any other sandwich the ingredients can vary widely, but I love to make mine with slow cooked shredded pork, mashed black beans, and a chili lime mayo.  Also, I love to throw extra veggies in wherever possible so I pretty much put everything in my veggie drawer in this meal. 

Shredded Pork Tortas

Shredded Pork
1 lb pork shoulder or a fatty cut of pork loin
1 Tablespoon olive oil
Salt
Pepper
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 dried oregano
1/2 to 3/4 cup water
1/4 cup tomato sauce
1/4 onion
2 garlic cloves 
1/2 large mushroom
1 Tablespoon butter

Mashed Black Beans
1 15oz can black beans
1/2 large mushroom
1/4 green bell pepper
1 Tablespoon butter
 Salt and Pepper

Chili Lime Mayo
1/4 cup mayo
1 Tablespoon lime juice
7-10 drops of Tapatio sauce

1 large fat crusty baguette (or better yet go to a Mexican store and ask for a loaf of Torta bread)
1 tomato
1/2 cup lettuce
1/2 cup cheddar or pepper jack cheese (Or use both on your Torta!)

 Now I know that it looks like a lot of ingredients, but it really isn't all that complicated and just takes a little bit of time.  I try to give my meat as least three hours to slow cook.  So I would say plan on about 3 and 1/2 hours from the fridge to mouth.

For the pork start by putting some olive oil in a dutch oven on medium heat.  Season the pork liberally with all of the spices listed above.  Put the pork in the pan and sear the meat for about two minutes on each side.  The point of this is just to get a little color on the pork, not to cook the pork quickly.  Chop the onion, mince the garlic cloves, and thinly slice the mushroom.  Next add the water, onion, garlic, and about half the tomato sauce.  I like to braise the meat, so you only want to fill the pot up to 3/4 the height of the meat.  Put the lid on and turn the heat down to low or just barely medium low.  Let it go for at least 3 hours.  At this point I usually watch trashy TV, but I should probably be cleaning the kitchen and prepping everything else.  Once that three hour window is about up, take the lid off the meat.  The pork should be easy to pull apart with your hands.  At this point add the remainder of the tomato sauce and throw the mushroom  in the pot.  Place the lid just slightly off center so the steam can slowly start to escape.  Leave the pork like this for another 15 minutes.

In a small saucepan heat up the black beans on medium heat.  While the beans are heating up thinly slice up half a mushroom and chop up the bell pepper.  Throw those veggies into the bean mixture and season with salt and pepper.  Add 1 tablespoon butter.  Next mash up everything in the saucepan with either a potato masher, a fork, or my personal favorite option....an old school egg beater.  I inherited one from my grandmother and I find it works really well for making mashed beans!  Turn the heat down to low and let the beans sit there until it is time to assemble the Torta.

In a small bowl add mayo, lime juice, and tapato sauce and mix together.  Set aside!  That is really all it takes and the mayo tastes so good!

Grate the cheese(s) and set aside.  When I am not pregnant I love to use Mexican queso-fresco instead of the hard cheeses, but this tasted amazing as well.  Place the bread in a 200 degree oven to warm for about five minutes.

Now back to the meat.  Take the pork out of the braising mixture and place on a cutting board.  Crank up the heat on the braising mixture to medium-high and add a tablespoon of butter so that the sauce starts to tighten up a little bit.  Shred the pork either with your hands or if it is too hot, with two forks.  After the braising mixture has reduced for about 5 minutes return the pork to the pot and turn the heat down to low.  The shredded meat should soak up all those extra juices.  This is really what makes the meat taste so good.

Now we are ready to assemble.  Cut the warm bread down the middle and tear out some to the middle of the bread so you have more room for all the sandwich fillings.  On the bottom half of the bread spread a thick layer of mashed beans and then put a thick layer of the shredded pork onto it.  Next add the grated cheese so it melts into the hot pork.  Add the tomatoes.  On the top half of the bread liberally spread the chili lime mayo and then fill in the hole you dug in the bread with lettuce.  Carefully place the top of bread onto the pork and bean side, give it a good smash and enjoy! 

So next time you want a sandwich think about making a Torta!

Keep Tasting

Sausage Lasagna!

What, two posts in a week?!  Unheard of.  Anyway I just had to tell you about the fatty goodness of Sausage Lasagna. Now normally when you make lasagna at home, people follow the recipe on the back of the box and use ground beef or if they want to be healthier, they use ground turkey.  Both choices are great, but that deep extra fat of sausage adds so much more flavor to the meal.  My husband and I once ate an entire 9x13 pan in one night.  Remind me to check my cholesterol at some point soon.  I think that sometimes homemade lasagna can be intimidating because of all the steps involved, but really if you just follow the recipe on the back of most noodle boxes and you will be fine.  And a bonus, unless you have no self-control like me and my husband, you should have days of leftovers!  So you have been warned, this is in no way a healthy meal, but hey, treat yourself once in a while! 

 

Sausage Lasagna 

1 lb ground sausage (I love Jimmy Dean's Sage or Maple)

1  8oz package no boil lasagna noodles

1 26 oz jar of spaghetti sauce (I love Newman's One or Classico brands)

1 15oz can of tomato sauce

 1/4 onion

4-6 Brussels sprouts

15oz ricotta cheese

1/2 cup sour cream

1 egg

1 teaspoon dried basil leaves

1 teaspoon dried oregano leaves

1 teaspoon dried parsley leaves

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon onion powder
salt and pepper

1/2 chili powder

3 cups mozzarella cheese

 1/3 cup grated Parmesan

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.  Cook the sausage until brown.  Chopped onion and Brussels sprouts into small pieces.  Now at this point I would normally drain the pan of any excess fat, but not this time.  

Yummy fatty sausage

In the same seasoned pan (I used my dutch oven) add the jar of spaghetti sauce, the can of tomato sauce, chopped onion and chopped Brussels sprouts.  I like the have a lot of sauce in my lasagna so occasionally I will add a second can of tomato sauce or even just a little bit of water to ensure there is plenty of sauce to go around.  there really is nothing worse  I just add those few veggies to make myself feel better about using a pound of sausage in this recipe!  

Spaghetti, Veggie, and Sausage sauce

In a medium bowl stir together ricotta cheese, sour cream, egg and all the spices.  I like to add the sour cream because I think it makes the ricotta cheese a little bit smoother and its high fat content adds a little extra richness to the dish.  I add a few extra spices because I think that ricotta cheese can be slightly bland, and those spices really pump up the flavors in the cheese layer.  

Finally grate the mozzarella and the Parmesan cheese.  Set aside.  Most recipes call for 4 cups of mozzarella, but that is a lot of cheese!  I find that 3 cups is plenty for this lasagna!

Now is the fun part, layering the lasagna!  Using a 9x13 inch pan (I prefer to use glass pans) line the bottom with a small amount the spaghetti/sausage mixture.  Place 3 pieces of the no-boil noodles in  the pan.  Thoroughly cover each piece of lasagna with the ricotta/sour cream mixture.  Then cover with more of spaghetti sauce and finally top with a handful of mozzarella cheese.  Add another layer of noodles and repeat the whole process two more times.  At this point you should be out of ricotta mixture and only have three noodles left.  Put those noodles onto and add the remaining spaghetti sauce followed by the rest of the mozzarella and top with the Parmesan cheese.  Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes.  Take the foil off and then bake for an additional 15 minutes until the cheese is bubbling and gooey.  Remove from the oven and let stand for at least 5 minutes.  This is often the longest 5 minutes of the process for me, but if the lasagna does not stand it will slide all over the place.

Enjoy the Lasagna

Keep Tasting,

Pickles, Lemonade, and Duck Eggs: My current preggo cravings!

I drank almost a gallon of Newman's own all natural lemonade in a week.  And I am addicted to the never heated Claussen pickles.  I went through a whole jar in week. And I usually don't really have any opinion on pickles.  I don't dislike them, but I have never gone out of my way to eat them plain.  And now I am ordering them on the side at restaurants!  But hey, I want what I want right now!  The lady who does my eyebrows says I am having a girl because of my cravings.  Who knows, I already have a boy name picked out, so now I am starting to think of girl names.

Now to the point of this blog post.  Duck eggs!  Now I didn't intend to start loving duck eggs but they quite strangely popped up in my life.  My husband works as a commercial glazier.  That means he installs glass in commercial buildings (think buildings like airports, all glass entry ways, new high rise construction, etc.)  Anyway, in the course of his work he meets lots of different people from architects to electricians and sheet metal workers.  Last week he comes home with a carton of duck eggs!  I was like, what the.....  But then I fried one up and it was delicious.  Duck eggs are fluffier, fattier, and bigger than chicken eggs.  And they have more nutrients and Omega-3 fatty acids than chicken eggs!  They are supposed to be great for baking, so I will have the try that very soon.  And my husband got them from a sheet metal guy who raises organic farm fresh eggs so they are way better than the caged eggs you can buy at the grocery store.  I am hooked on them.  I have been about 5 eggs a week.  My favorite way to eat duck eggs is in a delicious duck egg sandwich.

Delicious Duck Egg Sandwich
2 pieces thick cut whole wheat bread
1 over hard duck egg
1/2 a roma tomato sliced
1 half classen pickle thinly sliced
1 think slice sharp cheddar cheese
miracle whip

Basically I just make sure the egg is thoroughly cooked through, melt the cheese onto of the egg and construct a sandwich.  And the funny thing is I usually don't even like miracle whip!

Anyway if you get the chance to try some duck eggs please do!

P.S. Pregnant or fat?

Keep Tasting,

What to eat when you are expecting (A hungry pregnant girl's rant)

Hello,

 

So I have taken a long hiatus from food blogging because I am pregnant!  I am a little over 14 weeks pregnant today!  I am excited and terrified.  And I have found the pregnancy and food are strange bedfellows. Sometimes they agree, and sometimes they have angry fights in my head and in my stomach.
 In my head I fight a new fear of food that I have never had before.  I have never ever worried about food borne illnesses, and now I have to worry about them for the sake of the lemon sized fetus inside me!  And I have had my episodes of food fear lately.  Did you know that listeria can possibly be on every vegetable and in soft-serve frozen yogurt, soft cheeses, and humus?  And apparently listeria is bad whilst pregnant.  So everything needs to be washed or avoided.  I can pretty much say that in the last few months I have pretty much unknowingly eaten every food you are not supposed to eat.  Yesterday I accidentally ate some sausage that looked a teeny tiny bit pink.  It was blackened on the grill and my husband has patiently been telling me that I am fine, but I still worry.  The grill literally caught fire so I think I might be okay, but this nagging fear sticks in my head.  And then I go on the internet and Dr. Google convinces me that no matter what I do I am wrong and I have caused irreparable harm to myself and my baby.  My husband and my family have all threatened to cancel my internet and take away my smart phone! But my husband has been so great and supportive listening to my crazy worries about everything involving this pregnancy!  I am secretly praying that I have the immunity to toxoplasmosis.  Toxoplasmosis is really bad to get when you are pregnant unless you already got it from eating undercooked or raw meat.  Let's hope all my years of eating raw meat has paid off with this disease. You can also get it from cats, but I hate cats, so at least I don't really have to worry about those things.  The list of worries goes on and on, so it is hard not to be a little afraid every time I sit down to eat.
But since I am pregnant I am always hungry.  Thankfully I had very minimal nausea, instead my healthy appetite just got better and bigger.  And I have a new fondness for lemonade and olives.  Lots and lots of lemonade.  Coincidentally I have the worse heartburn ever!  And I am so tired all of the time.  The absolute last thing that I want to do is stand in a kitchen and cook.  All I want to do is eat and sleep.  What am I supposed to do?  I have to keep eating, especially since I am eating for two!  So I will be blogging my steps and missteps of eating (and not drinking) while pregnant.  Pray for me that at the end of all this I wont be too fat, my marriage will be intact, and we will have a healthy baby!
I was going to write about my homemade tacos, but let's be real, I haven't made those since March.  Before I knew about the growing bundle inside me.  Lately I have been eating lots of chips, salsa, ritz crackers with nutella, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, candy, ice cream, fried eggs, salmon, and salads.  My husband is good at making salads and cooking salmon!  I make sure everything is thoroughly washed in the salads though! 
Today though I had just enough energy to make a semi-homemade meal.  I browned some chicken legs in my beloved dutch oven.  I added some chopped onions, mushrooms, and brussel sprouts to the pot and let them cook down for a few  and then poured some organic red lentil curry soup (I will have to write another blog about my new fondness for organic box soups).   I let the meat and soup cook together or another 15 minutes.  I removed the bone and skin from the chicken legs and made an enhanced boxed soup!  I cooked some orzo to add a little more texture and carbs to the meal.  I added a dollop of sour cream and it was actually really good.

I make no guarantees, but I will try to update more as my hunger and my stomach continue to grow in the next few months.  And after this baby is born in November, I have already asked my husband to have a plate of blue cheese, a rare steak, and a big old glass of red wine waiting for me in the hospital!

Keep Tasting,

Tears and well done meat

I have to admit, I have been a little scared of food lately.  Recently I found out that there are so many things I cannot eat.  Pretty much everything I love is now off limits. And now some of my favorite foods make me sick.  And cooking a steak well done actually brings me to tears.  Today I barbecued steak and I literally just stared at my husband's perfectly medium-rare steak and tried not to get tears on my well done meat.

 And on top of that, we got a new stove and apparently when you buy a new stove they put all of sorts of crazy chemicals that have to be cooked off.  And we bought a good brand, it's not like it was some cheap knockoff.  So I used the self-cleaning function, like the manual said, to burn off the smell and it stunk up my house!  And it worried me.  I am still worried actually.  I was out of the house the whole time, but I am worried that I somehow smelled too many harmful fumes.  Who knew I was such a hippie? Now I am scared to turn on the oven!

So right now I am in a weird place, I still have a desire to cook and eat, but I am suddenly very nervous about most things I am putting in my mouth.  Or smell. I have never in my life thought about whether something was cleaned properly (I actually have a soft spot for dive eateries), or cooked thoroughly (in fact my motto has always been the rarer the better).  Half the reason I bake so much is to eat the raw dough, or batter!  I have been known to literally drink cake batter.  Sooooooooo good.   

I will get back into blogging, cooking, and eating soon.  Hopefully I will start to worry less, a lot less, and find ways to survive these new dietary restrictions.

Keep tasting and have a glass of wine for me!

Salmon, Salad, and S'more Pie. An Anniversary Dinner

Today is my second wedding anniversary!  We sort of eloped a year after meeting each other.  A year and 10 days to be exact. Well I saw him at work and I tracked him down, but that's a whole other blog post.  We went to the courthouse with our families and I wore a red dress and it was fabulous!  We threw a big party a few months later and the whole thing was just amazing and relatively stress less. 

Eating carrot cake after our wedding

 So for our first anniversary we went to Peru as honeymoon/anniversary celebration.  How do you top that for your second year?  Well, we bought a house!  Peru had been my dream since I was in the 6th grade, and my husband has wanted to own a house forever so we are accomplishing both of our dreams.  Since we just closed on the house a week ago, we decided that a dinner at home would be great and cost-effective way to celebrate our anniversary.   We had to celebrate a day early because of my husband's job, but it was quite the celebration nonetheless. Whilst my husband finished clean out our old rental, I cooked a feast.  Clearly I got the better task!

Our new house!

My husband is on a salad and healthy fish craze (I thought I would never see that happen) so I centered the meal around that.  I made a big salad, pan seared wild salmon with a sweet and sour chutney and homemade yogurt tarter sauce.  I also made a broccoli, cheese, and potato casserole.  Because I cannot have a meal without cheese.  And I absolutely love S'mores so I have been craving them since I bought some graham crackers and a brownie mix on a whim last week.  So I decided to make an impossible easy S'more pie for dessert. 
Let's start with dessert because life is short, eat dessert first! 

S'more pie

S'more Pie
One package Graham crackers
1 stick of butter
Favorite brownie mix or homemade brownies
2 cups mini marshmallows
1/2 cup butterscotch chips

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.  Graham crackers come in a box with about four plastic packages containing whole graham crackers inside.   Just open one of those and dump all of them into a large Ziploc bag. Take a rolling pin and take out some of your aggression and smash those Graham crackers until they are in small crumbs.  Melt one stick of butter on the stove.  Take out a 9" inch pie pan.  Glass is my favorite, but metal will do.  Pour the Graham cracker crumbs and the melted butter in the pie pan and mix together.  Then press the Graham cracker/butter mix into the pie pan and up the sides to make the crust.  I like a crispy crust so I like to pop the pie pan in the oven for a few minutes, but it isn't necessary. 

Now I hate boxed cakes, and cookies, but I have soft spot for good brownie mixes.  And they were on sale for 98 cents the other day so I bought a box.  Or two.  I use Pillsbury or Ghiradelli mixes.  I prepared the brownie mixture as instructed and threw in about 1/4 cup butterscotch chips.  Bake for about 30 minutes, and then I pressed the mini marshmallows on top of the brownie mix and let the pie bake for an additional 5-7 minutes.  In a small sauce pan melt the butterscotch chips with a little bit of butter and drizzle over the pie.  Enjoy!

Our anniversary meal

Pan-seared Salmon

1 pound wild salmon, filleted

Lemon juice

Lemon pepper

Dill Weed

Olive Oil

Salt

Pepper

Salmon is actually really easy to make.  Salmon tastes amazing on its own, and you can pretty much season it anyway your want to, so I like to keep it relatively simple.  My aunt, uncle, and two cousins are all in the salmon fishing industry in Alaska and this spice recipe comes from them and has never let me down.  Simply marinate your salmon fillets in a little bit of lemon juice, olive oil and salt and pepper for about 15 minutes. 

Never marinate anything with lemon juice or citric acid for too long because the acid will start to break down the meat and cook it.  Ever heard of ceviche?  Ceviche is made from raw fish that is marinated, i.e. cooked in citric acid.  So 15 minutes is about perfect to get the flavor without cooking your salmon in lemon juice.

Heat a large saute pan to medium high and pour a generous amount of olive oil and a little butter in the pan.  When everything is sizzling place salmon fillets skin side down.  Turn pan down to medium and generously sprinkle lemon pepper and dill weed all over your salmon.  I like to add a little more salt as well.  Add a little bit of water and a tiny bit more lemon juice to the pan and cover.  Let cook for 5-8 minutes until the salmon has turned a lighter pink. 

Yogurt Tarter Sauce

Plain Greek yogurt

salt

pepper

onion powder

garlic powder

1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

2 tablespoons chopped pickles

So easy, so good, and so much better for you than store bought tarter sauce.  Just mix everything together and chill until you are ready to serve

Sweet and Sour Chutney

1/4 onion

2 teaspoons olive oil

1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds

1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

1/4 teaspoon coriander

1/4 teaspoon ground cardamon

1/8 teaspoon paprika

1/8 cup red wine vinegar

1/2 tablespoon sugar

1 tablespoon water

I got this recipe for The New Best Recipe: America's Test Kitchen.  I wanted to do something a little different because it was our anniversary after all.  Combine all the spices into a small dish and set aside.  Finely chop onion and saute in the olive oil  in a small saucepan at medium heat.  Cook onions until translucent, about 3 or 4 minutes.  Increase heat to medium-high and toss in spice mix.  Cook for an additional 1 to 1 1/2 minutes until the spices start to smell strongly.  Add in red wine vinegar, sugar, and water.  Let the mixture simmer until it reduces.  Serve as a topping for the salmon.  Be cautious though, a little goes a long way with this spicy concoction!

Broccoli, Cheese, and Potato Casserole

One head of broccoli

2 red potatoes

1/4 chopped onion

1 clove garlic

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons flour

1/4 cup milk

1/2 cup grated cheddar

Dash of nutmeg

Breadcrumbs

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.  Chop all the vegetables into bite sized pieces.  Place in a small casserole dish.  Now make a rue!  I've never made one successfully, but it wasn't that hard this time.  In a small sauce pan melt butter and then add flour and whisk thoroughly until mixture darkens.  Slowly add milk, nutmeg and grated cheddar.  Mix until blended and pour over the veggies.  Top with breadcrumbs, over and bake for about 30-35 minutes, until the potato is soft.  Take off the cover and cook for an additional 5 minutes until the breadcrumbs create a nice crust. 

Serve, hot, bubbly and delicious.

Lastly make a large salad, I throw every vegetable I can in a salad.  I love to add nuts, cheeses, and dried cranberries on top.

It was quite the dinner and great way to celebrate our marriage and our new home!

Keep tasting,

Best Pizza Place ever!

Now I usually think that I can make most things rather well, but there is a pizza place in Yelm, WA that makes the best pizza I have ever had.  And I know when I've been beat, and their pizza is just better than anything I can ever make. 

My camera phone does not do this place justice

So if you are ever in Yelm or Olympia then please do yourself a favor and stop by La Gitana Pizzeria.  http://pizzerialagitana.com/wordpress/.  I think part of the reason is their food is so amazing is because the owners are a family from Italy.  They grew up around the world's best pizza and by the sweet grace of God they have brought their expertise and the finest ingredients to me!  They import all their meats, olives, and oils from Italy.  And they make this perfectly crisp and thin crust that I cannot even dream of replicating.  And to top it off they put their pizzas in large, warm, woodfire oven which cooks all those pizzas to perfection. 

Did I mention they have great Italian wine as well!

So do yourself a favor an stop by their Yelm or Olympia restaurants.  And don't forget to save room for dessert.  They have a tiramisu to die for.

Keep Tasting,

Salt. Caramel. Chocolate. Brilliant cupcakes

So my friends' baby turned one today.  And they asked me to make cupcakes!  They don't feed their kid sugar or salt so I knew they weren't going to give their kid any of my cupcakes so I went for it and made what I wanted. And I have to say, sorry kid, you missed out.  Next time I'll sneak you a little bit of heavenly goodness I created tonight!

I present to for your viewing and hopefully tasting pleasure

Salted Caramel Chocolate Cupcakes

Now I have made a lot of cupcakes in my life, I even made our wedding cake and cupcakes!  And those were great, but this was better.  There is a chocolate cake base, a caramel filling and a whipped cream dark chocolate frosting.  And a sprinkling of thick sea salt on top.  Salt, caramel and chocolate combined is unbelievable.  The salt is a surprise, but it adds such a depth of flavor.

Chocolate cake

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

7 tablespoons good dutch processed cocoa powder

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup sugar

1 tablespoon vanilla

3/4 cup buttermilk

3/4 cup vegetable oil

2 eggs

2 ounces bittersweet chocolate chunks or squares

1 tablespoon butter

All my ingredients

The cake part is actually super easy.  The rest gets a little bit complicated though, so have extra ingredients on hand just in case you have to redo your caramel (guilty!) or your frosting (guilty!).  These cupcakes take time so I would give yourself at least two or three hours.  But they are worth every minute.  Every minute. 



Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.  Line 24 standard size cupcakes tins with your favorite cupcake liners.   

Melt chocolate squares with about a tablespoon or two a butter.  You can heat them on the stove or just pop them in the microwave.  Melt until chocolate and butter is smooth and shiny and then immediately remove from the heat.  There is nothing worse than burnt chocolate.  And once you burn chocolate you cannot get it back! 

Place all dry ingredients into a big bowl.  Oh, I have recently rediscovered my sifter.  And it makes a world of difference so if you have one, use it!  So I should revise my directions and say, sift all the dry ingredients together. 

In medium bowl whisk together all the wet ingredients.  Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix just until combined.  Place in cupcake tins and bake for 13-15 minutes.  Now at this point I originally placed one of those pre-made caramel squares in each cupcake and baked for an additional 2-5 minutes.  This turned out to be not a great move, so I would just bake the cupcakes for about 15-20 minutes.  As usual while baking cakes, bake until a toothpick placed into the cake comes our clean or with a few crumbs sticking to it.  Dry cake is the worst, so if you think it is almost done or you think it needs just a minute more, take it out! 

So back to the caramel squares.  While they were easy to place in, I hated the look of them and I was worried they would harden up and would be an unpleasant texture when people bit into them.  So I waited impatiently until the cupcakes were cool and sure enough the caramel was way too hard.  So I removed every single square.  But then I had a whole in my cupcakes so I had to fill them with something.  And so with great trepidation I decided to attempt caramel sauce.

Finished homemade caramel sauce

Caramel Sauce

1 cup granulated sugar

1 cup whipping cream

Now those two ingredients look deceptively easy, but caramel is a challenge.  Place sugar in a pan over medium-high heat and cook until it starts to melt and turns a little bit brown. Once it is completely melted, but hopefully still light brown, add the whipping cream to the pan.  It will sputter, and the sugar might be hard and stuck together.  Mine looked like a light brown rock in the middle of the cream!  The first time this happened I thought I had killed my caramel.  But don't give up, keep stirring!  Stir until the sugar has again melted into the cream and it starts to look like caramel sauce.  Be careful it doesn't get too dark or it will taste burnt!  Once your get your caramel sauce to the desired color, remove from the heat and let it cool.  Once the caramel sauce is cool fill each cupcake hole with caramel sauce.  You will have leftover caramel sauce which you will need later for the frosting. 

Chocolate caramel filled cupcakes

Whipped Cream Dark Chocolate Buttercream

1 1/2 cups bittersweet chocolate chips or squares

4 tablespoons dutch processed cocoa powder

1 1/2 sticks of butter

1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1 cup whipped cream

Frosting cupcakes

Melt the chocolate and about two tablespoons of butter until smooth and creamy.  Set aside so that it is cool when needed.  Cream together butter and powdered sugar until soft and fluffy.  Slowly add the cocoa powder into the butter and sugar mixture.  Fold in the melted chocolate.  In a separate bowl beat whipped cream until it has soft peaks.  Slowly fold the whipped cream into the chocolate buttercream mixture.  Be very gentle so that you do not deflate your whipped cream.  Once all the whipped cream is incorporated chill the whipped cream dark chocolate buttercream for about 20 minutes in the refrigerator.  This will let your frosting firm up a little bit and make it easier to pipe onto the cupcakes.  Your hot hands will warm up the frosting quickly so starting with a cool frosting helps tremendously. 

Once frosted, drizzle the remaining caramel on each cupcake and then add a pinch of good sea salt to each cupcake.  Your whole view of cupcakes will change after you try this. 

Enjoy!  And keep tasting!